Sacrament of the Living
by Rocket Grunt Karl
Summary: Who could have known that coming back from the dead would have such adverse affects. Who knew growing up with a demon could be the reason for her sickness. Was she even human anymore? Rin/Sesshomaru
1. Chapter 1

_So Fanfiction decided to do some weeeeeeird formatting to my original. I apologize so much for that! I am not certain why it has done that, and hopefully it won't do it again._

_This story is based off of a drabble I wrote awhile about. It will be semi-long I believe._

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><p>Sacrament of the Living<p>

Chapter 1

"What's wrong with her Kaede? Is there anything we can do?"

Kagome's voice was fretful and concerned. Her eyebrows furrowed in worry as she stared at the paling figure lying in bed. The tremors in her had ceased for the moment. Her body was now drenched with cold sweat that was beginning to seep through her blanket. It would need to be changed once again.

The haggard old woman cast her eyes on the frail, skeletal figure in bed and sighed.

"I have never seen anything of this nature before in all my years…"

"So there's nothing…?" Kagome pleaded, hoping that at least one modicum of information would help the poor sickly girl.

"Aye, nothing. Not this severe, not like this. The legends are merely that, and they never specified such things…"

"What do you mean?" the girl questioned, looking both questioning and hopeful.

"The girl has been reacting to demonic energy."

The room prickled at that moment. The three human women present could feel the icy tension that suddenly surrounded them. The half demon's ear twitched in response, while the intimidating Lord stood erect and tense.

Never had they expected such a thing to happen to them, least of all innocent little Rin. Rin, a child, though despite her hardship and struggle, was a happy, accepting girl that grew into a well-off young woman. To be taken by such sickness, one that crippled her, drained her of strength to the point of feebleness—it was almost unbearable to witness. The paper thin of her skin showed the spidery blue veins underneath, slowly pumping the thinning blood through her fast dying body. Her breath was calm, almost nonexistent. Her sweat leaked through the pours of her scalp and slicked her head. She looked like grim death.

Kaede elaborated.

"You see… it seems that Rin has somehow managed to absorb demonic energy. This in and of itself is not usual, humans that have been around demons for long enough have been known for absorbing a bit. It's rather harmless. Demons radiate their energy around them, and like a smell, it can linger and be absorbed into its nearby surroundings."

"But Kaede… I have been around Inuyasha for such a while now and I have never experienced such a condition…" Kagome reasoned.

"That's just it, Kagome. Children are still growing, and thus are more susceptible to consume surrounding energies. Yee are passed the age of such things."

"So you are saying that this is all Sesshomaru's fault," InuYasha snorted, crossing his arms and sticking his nose up in the direction of his brother, who refused to acknowledge him. The Powerful Lord stood there unmoving, a pillar of cold marble in the center of the hut, a towering figure of foreboding and unease. As much as he was intimidating, his presence and continence were suffocating to most everyone present.

"Nay," Kaede shook her head, leaning over to wipe a wet cloth over the girl's forehead. "Even being exposed to it at a young age shouldn't have been enough to reduce her to such a state. The demon energy within her is literally outweighing her human energy, or spirit. A feat that is physically impossible."

"Explain."

It was Sesshomaru's first word spoken that evening. He had remained a tense uncomfortable but silent mast up until now. His eyes had never strayed from the limp figure on the bed, almost unnervingly.

Kaede seemed so surprised by his verbal communication that she momentarily forgot her voice. Since his arrival, he had said not a word. More correctly, when he had first arrived after hearing about Rin's poor state, his first inclination was to charge at his half-brother with a blind rage that painted his eyes red. He of course blamed Rin's welfare on him and was enraged to hear that she had gotten to such a state of bad health. It ws Rin's appearance herself that had stopped him dead in his tracks. He said not a word since.

The priestess shook her head and answered the Lord.

"It is impossible because there is no way that the human body would consume that much. A human's spiritual energy is strong, and fills the human body so completely. Demon energy would have no room to take over unless influenced in some way. In order for the demon energy to take so much control otherwise, there would need to be a lack of human energy; which is impossible."

"How so?"

"Because, the only time a human is separate from their spiritual energy is through death."

This seemed to strike a notion in Sesshomaru, who stood up straighter and began to make his way towards Rin. Everyone turned to see his sudden approach, rather surprised by his reaction.

"Through death?" he repeated the old woman's words. He did not look at her, but trained his golden eyes on the dying girl's clay-like corpse.

"…Aye," Kaede nodded her head, uncertain what Lord Sesshomaru was thinking. There was a long moment of silence and everyone watched with bated breath. Sesshomaru stared down at the lying figure, her shallow breath growing even fainter. Suddenly his hands clenched into fists, and he turned sharply away.

"Can it be cured?" he asked pensively. "Is there a way to reverse the effects?"

Kaede stood there a few moments in awe at the show of emotion. Though it seemed like nothing, Lord Sesshomaru's actions and questions themselves gave away his concern for his dying ward.

"Nay, there is no cure," the old priestess sighed sadly. "The demon energy is too imbedded into her, removing it would mean certain death. It's the only thing sustaining her body right now. All we can do is wait and pray. The energy will consume her and her body will continue to fight it. She will die from it. It is only a matter of time now. The best we can do is give her comfort before her passing."

Lord Sesshomaru stared down at the weak face of his ward, so young and fresh. She just barely reached the age of womanhood. She had so many times danced with death, skirted passed it and cheated it. Did it now come to finally claim her for his own? The thought angered him beyond comprehension. Rin belonged to him and him alone. Not even death would caress her skin. It would not take her from him.

If what the woman said was true, Sesshomaru had no doubt that not only was it possible, but it was definite. Rin _had_ died. When he had first stumbled across her eviscerated corpse, a lifeless shell of humanity, he had slain the creatures of the underworld that were abducting her spirit. Was it possible that they had snatched part of the girl's spirit before they were destroyed? And, once he had brought her back to life, was the emptiness that she had inside her slowly, over time and exposure to him being filled with his own permeating demonic energy? It was a notion that sounded beyond unbelievable. That a human could absorb energies around them when there was an absence of their own. To think, all this time his Rin had been feeding off of his energies, they had been festering inside of her, molding her, and now killing her. And what of her death? How much of her humanity was actually lost by her death? To think how much of her spirit was taken upon her death. And Rin had died twice.

He hadn't noticed the changes of Rin through the years in his company. He didn't notice how her sight and hearing and sense of smell were always acutely better than that of a normal human. The effect was so gradual that it eluded even him. If what the old priestess said was true, her time around him had affected her growth, she absorbed some of _his _demonic energy. Yet, it wasn't until _that_ day that he was aware of how much she had changed. It had happened so suddenly. One day, she had been running through the fields ahead of him. The clearing was covered in flowers and the breeze was gentle.

Rin grew excited and began climbing up a tree. Jaken screeched at the human girl for how childish and improper such a thing was, but Rin cared very little for indecency regarding her femininity. The branch she had been clinging to had snapped, and the girl came tumbling down the tree from an impressive height. As expected, Sesshomaru was there in a second, convinced that such a fall was fatal to a human, especially when he saw the girl land on her sensitive head. Jaken Screamed.

But the girl had just sat up, brushed off her skirt and apologized for worrying her Lord with her childishness and promised never to do it again.

Sesshomaru had decided that it was time to let Rin live with humans.

No less than a month later, Rin had her first bleeding, and things turned for the worst. Her temper got the better of her and she grew bouts of violence. Worse still, her stamina increased a hundredfold, unnaturally so. She began jumping up into tree branches normal humans couldn't reach. She was able to lift heavy loads onto her back. Rin ate and ate and ate enough for three humans and slept for less the four hours a night. It was unsettling to witness her growth.

But then it suddenly stopped. Almost as soon as the boost had struck her, it vanished like a candle flame. Rin became sluggish and very tired during the daytime. Her appetite shrunk and she showed the beginnings of a fever. Her skin was turning color and the slightest brush against it would cause irritation or tearing. Sesshomaru had been informed about her problems, and on his visit, she had run to him screaming and crying, pulling out fistfuls of her hair which trailed behind her in black stringy clumps. Within three days, Rin had gone from the fit of health to a crippled creature with shriveled, dry skin. Her hair had all fallen out, leaving her head bare. Her nails were the next to flee from her. By that night, the last of her teeth were coughed up. By the next morning, Rin hadn't the strength to carry her own weight. She did not wake up the next morning.

It had been three days now. She lay unmoving, corpselike. If it were not for the slow, gentle rising and falling of her chest, she would have appeared dead. She even smelled of death. Sesshomaru had killed enough humans to recognize the stench. It lingered over her, as if waiting for the moment to strike fully and swallow her. This was not acceptable. Sesshomaru made to grasp Tensaiga. How utterly useless this blade was to him now.

Turning swiftly, Sesshomaru left the room, everyone's shocked and saddened faces didn't stop him. He flew from the village and into the forest, where he had dwelled during his extended visit to Rin. InuYasha watched him leave, a look of pity on his face.

"I never understood why he hated humans so much but kept this girl around," he grunted.

"I wouldn't have believed it either," Kagome whispered, eyes red from tears. "But he cares for her. I can see that. The way he looked at her… InuYasha, he hasn't taken his eyes off of her since he got here!"

"Keh," InuYasha scoffed, folding his arms and turning away.

"Poor Rin…" Kagome muttered pitifully. "You were so innocent, so young… so simple and yet you managed to warm his icy heart." Tears leaked down her face. "…Why do you have to die?"

Rin did not wake in the morning, nor did she breathe. When Kaede went to check on her come the sun, Rin was already gone.

InuYasha held a crying Kagome and Shippo wailed. Kaede let the tears fall she had been keeping at bay, trying to be the pillar of strength everyone needed her to be to take care of Rin. The poor child. At least she passed in her sleep….

When Sesshomaru entered the hut. The room grew icy cold. Even Shippo's wails were silenced by the aura his being presented. There eyes all followed him as he stepped into the room, taking stern, purposeful steps towards the shrine. The tension was so thick it could have been cut with a blade. Sesshomaru's stare was as impassive and steely as ever, but there was something grim behind it as well. No one dared move. No one dared breathe. He stopped just at the foot of her futon and simply stared. NO one knew quite how long he had stood there, staring at the corpse so delicately prone. Her head was gingerly covered in a peach scarf, hiding her baldness to try and create the illusion of her true cause of death. One could simply imagine her hair was tied up in the back of her head.

The room was thick and heavy with trepidation. No one knew what ws going to happen, how Sesshomaru was going to react. But the longer he stood there, the more tension was gripping them, the fear, the anxiety of his reaction. But he just stood there, unmoving. His face a blank mask of cold indifference. He just _stared._ His lack of emotion was more terrifying then any perceived reaction the other occupants in the room could have dreamed up.

Finally, unable to handle the overwhelming emotions, Kaede spoke up.

"She died peacefully in her sleep." She offered, throat sore from her sadness. "We plan to burn her remains. It is an honorable deed to the dead."

Still, no response. Sesshomaru just stood there, eyes glued onto the ashen, dead face of Rin. His Rin. The look of death became her. She had worn its dead mask two times before, and this was the third and final time it had taken its likeness onto her face.

"So be it."

It was a deep, solemn response, but they echoed in the small room, leaving everyone still choking on their words. Sesshomaru then swiftly turned, unflinching, and walked towards the exit, never looking back.

"Wait!" Kagome called, finding her voice and hating how his shook. To her surprise, the Demon Lord halted his departure. He stopped, but did not turn to her. His face was shadowed by his silver bangs, effectively hiding his eyes from their sight. "Don't you want to stay for the service?"

There was a pause.

"I have no reason to be here anymore," he responded coldly and continued walking.

"Rin would have wanted it," Kagome threw out in a last ditch effort. This froze the lord in his tracks. He stood stock still. It was a dirty card to play, but one she hoped would work.

The demon stayed with his back tuned to everyone. His shoulders were stiff and squared, and he refused to turn. This time, the silence lasted longer before his response. For one fearful moment, Kagome feared for her life. It was dangerous to play that card on Sesshomaru and she wondered if her outburst would make him strike against her.

Instead of anger, he seemed to consider her request. His head tilted slightly downward.

"Hn."

It was a weird sound coming from the Demon Lord, but it was the only thing offered before he left, and Kagome took that as an affirmation.

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><p><em>Again, I apologize to all readers for the mistake! Please forgive me... Ahem, next chapter will be out in a few days, I am just editting it!<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_I warn you, this chapter gets pretty bloody._

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><p>Sacrament of the Living<p>

Chapter 2

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><p>Everything was set. The candles and incenses were lit, the protection prayers were hung, the fruit plucked, ceremonial beads, the paper charms; everything was ready and set and waiting.<p>

Except for the body.

Her skin had been washed until baby smooth. She had been dressed in the appropriate garbs and wrapped carefully. Lady Kaede hadn't been gone for but a moment to fetch some fresh water from the well. When she returned, all was there but Rin.

Lady Kaede and Kagome were fretful. Shippo was crying. Inuyasha, in a wave of outrageous fury, accused his half-brother of abducting the body for his own purposes. Their fight was of an animalistic nature. Lord Sesshomaru, the man of poise and steely elegance, seemed reduced to a frothing beast. He had appeared the figure of strength upon hearing of her death, but the sting of her passing wasn't revealed until InuYasha's assault.

Kagome tried to break up the fight at first, utterly mortified at her husband's accusations and Sesshomaru's rage, but Lady Kaede kept her back.

"He needs to grieve, child," the elder woman said.

It wasn't until then did she realize it. Sesshomaru had locked away his grief. It wasn't that he felt nothing. It wasn't that he was uncaring or good at hiding his feelings. It was that he didn't truly reveal them. InuYasha must have known this, and though it was brutal, knew of the only way to surely make him realize the blinding truth.

It was bloody, visceral and barbaric. Swords were shed to be replaced with claws and fangs. Gold eyes were bled out to red. Insults slung were replaced with hoarse snarls and growls. They had never seen Sesshomaru in such a state. He was beyond any reachable sense, so far gone. It was terrifying that InuYasha wasn't torn to pieces in the Daiyokai's maddened state. The villagers had fled in terror, though InuYasha had enough sense at that point to lead the fight into the forest. There they could not witness the carnage and horror that was unleashed, but could hear the bloody shrieking and thrashing wailing into the air. A soaking trail of blood would lead any who followed them to their clash.

The sun had set by the time one of the demon's returned. It was InuYasha, clothes ripped to shreds, white hair stained entirely with blood. Eye gouged out, ear torn off and held on by a few scraps of skin, a few fingers missing. He limped into the village, and a horrified Kagome rushed to his aid. He spoke not a word. There wasn't any real need for words. They knew InuYasha lacked the strength needed to capably kill his brother, especially without Tetsusaiga, and the fact that he returned alive spoke volumes. He had calmed the beast. Sesshomaru did not return after him. No one asked what happened. It was done.

Kagome did not seem to agree with such a reaction. Human that she was, she was incapable of seeing this as anything but an act of violence and horror. She understood Sesshomaru's grief, but to lash out so strongly was appalling and sadistic. After wrapping a severe wound around his midsection, Kagome stood up in an indignant huff, only to be grabbed by one weakened, clawed hand. She stared down at the fingers wrapped around her upper arm. The fingernails were bloody, a few missing entirely.

"Let the dog mourn."

She still didn't understand. Couldn't comprehend such behavior, but to InuYasha, it was as natural as a human would seek a shoulder to cry on. It was the way of demons, and she had to accept it.

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><p>It was midnight when the chickens began screeching.<p>

InuYasha had finally settled into a restful coma. His demonic energy kicked in and put him into the sleep his body needed to recuperate the damage.

The sound was hair-raising, desperate, dry- raw squeals that echoed over the village. Chickens were not made to ever make such a sound. They didn't stop the noise, a hopeless, guttural scream. It churned the bowels, a desperate cry for their life. It wasn't a simple fox this time.

No one came to see to the chickens. No one dared to leave their house. The snarls and growls that haunted them during the day following the two demon brothers warded them off. Let the demon's have the chickens. It mattered to them not that they knew InuYasha personally. It mattered not that they knew he never attacked their livestock. They were still demon. And one demon isn't any different from another.

Whatever it was, left a mess.

It trailed behind it thick blood and grit. Intestines streamed the floor like wet serpents. Feathers soaked with blood until they clumped. A lump of blood buttered meat and organs shredded apart, so utterly eviscerated that it was unable to tell what part of the animal it came from.

His senses had dulled, but the cries of the chickens and the overwhelming scent of blood drew his attention back to the village he had sworn never to return to.

After his fight with InuYasha, Sesshomaru hadn't gone far from the scene. After his heated frenzy calmed down, he had limped towards a tree and rested there. He needed time to recover. He had full intention of turning his back on this putrid human cesspool, then he heard the screeching, smelled the blood… and something else.

Part of him told him it was a lie; a delusion that his mournful mind conjured up to help soften the blow of her passing. Sesshomaru wasn't by any means a man who second guessed himself. He was a demon of reason, and never had second thoughts about anything. He never had clouded judgments or lapses where he questioned his sanity, but in that one moment, unconscious and unaware of his surroundings in his body's attempt to heal… he smelled Rin. He could had sworn it.

But it wasn't her; it smelled different. Something about the smell was both so familiar and so foreign. Whatever it was, it sprung him awake from his coma like an alarm. His body screamed in protest, aching and convulsing with the need for rest. His body was sluggish, as if it was trying to force him back into his slumber. He refused it. He pushed himself up, body torn and screaming in defiance. As he walked steadily towards the overpowering stench of blood; his own soaked up the earth, creating a path. InuYasha had injured him far beyond that which should have been possible, but Sesshomaru had lost himself during the fight. Style and training was lost in a feral frenzy to simply attack, gnaw, scratch, bite and kick. There was no techniques or studies. Only the drive for pain. It was an embarrassment.

The crying grew louder on his approach. He could smell the beasts, smell the stinking carcasses that littered the earth. He would smell the stench of their blood, their fear, their feces. And he could smell her. Reaching the clearing, he could see the result of her work. He followed the carcasses and innards in a morbid trail behind the coop.

He heard the gnawing and the teeth grinding before he saw the creature. It was hard to fully make out in the night, only illuminated by the crescent moon. It was hunched over and small, bony and frail looking. The red cloth that it wore was dark and damp, soaked in blood and grit. Around its head was a scarf, that bobbed up and down as the head feverishly began ripping the throat out of one of the hens it held in its skeletal grip.

The fowl was still alive as it ripped its flesh, devouring bone, meat and feathers in its feverish rush to feed itself. The wings were flapping uselessly to try and escape, neck twisting about as it screeched its lungs out. It would have been a sight that would have horrified any of the humans that dared to show themselves, but Sesshomaru didn't even flinch. When he turned the corner fully, the creature suddenly became aware of his presence. Its head shot up, red eyes wild and lower mouth covered in blood. Its lips pulled back to reveal sharp fangs, also colored red.

It was an act to fend off, an act of warning that stressed that this was _their_ meat, and to _back off._ But Sesshomaru did not put any thought into such a meaningless threat. What mattered now was that this thing… this thing doused in blood and devouring chickens like a starved creature… smelled of Rin.

He took a step forward, and the creature flung the fowl from its mouth and growled. Another step forward, and the thing launched at him, teeth bared and claws outstretched.

It landed on him like a target, teeth and claws aimed for his vital throat. Sesshomaru, weakened but not enough to lose his swiftness, grabbed the tiny clawed hands. He stared into the wild, raving eyes. They were blood red and unaware, mad with the need for bloodlust and survival. There was no hint of intellect or alertness, only madness. This was not the eyes of his Rin. This was a monster. The scarf grew loose during the tussle, and it revealed a bald head, it fluttered to the floor in a wispy sweep. This creature was not Rin. There was no hope in saving whatever nightmarish shell that was left behind.

The small claws dug into its palms in an attempt to get away, drawing its own blood and awakening for the first time, the scene of her blood to his nose. It alarmed him. He was suddenly brought back to the day when he first came across her body, lying limp and dead on the dirt, body sliced to ribbons by dogs. Her blood smelled of it now. It smelled of Rin and demon and dog— No. Him.

His fingers clenched around the bony thing's wrists. It didn't seem to notice the applied pressure. Sesshomaru growled low in his throat, and slammed the thing against the wall. It hissed and growled in response, still fighting for escape. Whatever this thing was—whatever was left over by Rin, needed to be destroyed. He couldn't let such an abomination of her wander around in her skin. It was a mockery of her innocence, a disgrace to Rin, and he would not disrespect her in that way. One hand swiftly moved to clamp around her throat. With one hand free, the bloody claws began to scratch at him, wild, erratic movements that sliced and pierced whatever part of his skin she could reach. The fingers around her neck tightened as it continued to claw, slicing his own sleeve and arm until he could barely see skin. It began wheezing in an attempt to keep breath. Crazed eyes glared without recognition. Blood poured from him as it began to pull meat from his arm. Bone was visible. Still, it did not let up, fighting until the very end. Its movements became slower, breath shallow.

"Rin."

He didn't know why he uttered it, why some sick part of him wanted to see this thing's reaction. Maybe simply because her name had been on his tongue since he stumbled into this village and saw her lying there so helpless and weak. Whatever the reason for this weakness, it escaped his lips in a whispered breath as he counted the seconds of its life.

It stopped its struggle.

At first, he thought it was because it's life had wasted away, until he noticed the wideness of her eyes. They grew large, suddenly focusing. The hand, stripping his arm bare, stilled. There was a cloudiness that seemed to pull away from giant, blinking red eyes. They looked in shock, confusion, and helplessness. Lips began to tremble as recognition, or something similar to it, blossomed on its face. Her hand gently rose, stretching out in an effort to touch his face. Its mouth opened as if to speak, and Sesshomaru felt his grip loosening on instinct.

It gurgled. Blood fell from its lips onto his hand. But that wasn't what caused him to release her. It was the sudden glassiness of those bulbous, unnatural red eyes. They shined with wetness as they blinked at him with abject horror and confusion, and then the tears fell from her eyes. They fell down the red painted face of hers until they landed on his flesh.

He pulled back like it burned him. The creature slumped to the base of the coop, trembling and staring at her own hands. They shook violently in its tremors. Then it collapsed in on itself, balling itself up and weeping. The sound was gut-wrenching and grating. Weak lungs and throat rasping in an attempt to wail, but too feeble and weakened.

Sesshomaru stared at this creature, unsure of a decision. All he knew was one single thing as the girl before him sobbed uncontrollably. He leaned down and pulled the thing into his arms. She showed no signs of responsiveness. Sesshomaru then turned and limped his way forward, slowly eyeing his own bloody trail back into the forest.

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><p><em>Pretty dark and gory and I am sure half of me are wondering why the heck I did this to Rin. Well, all in the name of progress and plot devices! Or soemthing along those lines.<em>


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